


Halo

by dannihowell (iguessicantry)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, American AU, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Outing, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 18:46:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6436105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iguessicantry/pseuds/dannihowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Growing up in small beach-side town has Dan seeing the world through a foggy lens. Coming of age story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Dan wasn’t sure what woke him. It might have been the sound of the rain pitter pattering on his window sill, or it might have been Matt’s snoring next door. The walls were thin, after all. His mother was standing at the foot of the bed when he finally managed to clear his vision enough to see in the middle of the night.

“Mom? What—,”

“Dan, get up. Someone’s here to see you,” she said softly, helping Dan lift the comforter off his body.

“What? Who’s here in the middle of the night?”

“Come on,” she said sleepily. Dan followed her out of his wonderfully warm bed and into the hallway, where the wood floors were absolutely freezing. He walked quickly, hoping that the movement would warm up the soles of his feet. It didn’t.

His mother led him into the living room. She cleared her throat, imploring all those present to pay her attention. Dan opened his sleepy eyes, which he had managed to keep relatively closed during the nighttime shuffle. Within moments, he was in the arms of their late night visitor.

“Phil!” Dan whispered in awe, eying Phil’s soaking wet uniform. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at school?”

“That is a very good question,’’ Dan’s father interjected into the happy reunion.

Phil pulled away from Dan, but reached for his hand. He wasn’t letting go this time. “Robert, Amy, I’m so sorry for barging in like this in the middle of the night. I couldn’t stay there anymore, so I ran. I just grabbed a few things and ran.”

Dan squeezed his hand to remind him that he was still there, and also to remind himself that he wasn’t dreaming. Phil was back, in his house, in his arms.

“Alright, since it’s so late,” Amy sighed, “We should probably figure this out in the morning. We’ll talk then, hmm?”

Phil nodded and smiled. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“Get out of those wet clothes and get to sleep. It’ll be an interesting day, that’s for sure.” Robert warned them in his usual loving, fatherly voice.

Dan hadn’t heard him, but nodded his head nevertheless. He couldn’t get past the fact that Phil was here, standing right in front of him.

Without a second thought, Dan connected their lips. He let his hands grasp Phil’s firm forearms and held on, making sure the other wouldn’t disappear again. Phil felt the same in his mouth, tasted the same, and loved him all the same. Dan could feel it. When they finally stopped to catch their breath, Dan wordlessly led Phil through the quiet house and into his room.

They both knew there were questions to ask and answer but Dan knew Phil would talk when he was ready and Phil knew that Dan would understand. He stripped down to his boxers, slipped on the t-shirt Dan offered him, and climbed into bed with his boyfriend. Something deep down inside Dan told him this would not be temporary, and that thought made him smile.


	2. One

“He’s interesting.”

“Who?”

“New kid.”

Dan gestured over the corner of the lunchroom, where there was a boy eating his lunch contently while listening to music through his earphones.

“What’s so interesting about him?” Gio asked, picking up a fry and dunking it into the ketchup and mustard mess she had stirred up moments before.

Dan shrugged and smiled. “I don’t know. We had drama this morning…”

“Yeah?”

“And he said nothing,” said Dan, sounding scandalized.

“No!” Gio replied, feigning outrage. “You can just go to drama class and not say anything. He can’t be human. No one can resist the call of the stage.”

Dan nodded, agreeing profusely. “I know.”

Gio smiled, dropping the act and glancing over at the table. “Interesting, indeed.”

—

Later that day was P.E. Dan faked cramps, which had most of the class laughing as he clutched his abdomen. The gym teacher Mr. Davidson, who was an over-the-hill pessimist, didn’t bother forcing Dan to participate in that day’s track and field ‘final’.

Dan sat down on the bench next to a guy named Joey, whom he’d known since kindergarten.

“Cramps?” Joey chuckled. “Really, Dan?”

“At least I know I’m not pregnant,” Dan joked easily.

“True,” Joey agreed. He was sitting on the bench, despite being a decent athlete. Just the week before, he’d twisted his ankle. Dan could tell that Joey was happy for the company. Their other classmates readied themselves for the races and Dan couldn’t help but notice who was up first at the starting line.

“New kid,” he whispered so Joey couldn’t hear. Dan watched the new kid stretch (like he knew how to) and get into starting position (like he really knew how to). Mr. Davidson called, “Ready, set, go!” and the new kid was off, easily crushing the kids he’d left behind.

“Damn, we need him on the team,” Joey decided.

“Oh God, you’re gonna turn him into a jock aren’t you?”

“What’s so wrong with that?” Joey asked lightly.

“Nothing, I guess…” Dan sighed dramatically. “You all do look so wonderfully muscular and really I don’t think I could resist another one of you.”

Joey laughed wholeheartedly, shaking his head. “You’re too much, Dan. Your boyfriend can’t possibly handle you.”

“You’re right.” Dan smirked.

The new kid walked over towards the bench and sat down beside Dan, taking deep breaths.

“That was amazing, man,” Joey said. “You thinking of joining a sports team?”

“Yeah,” new kid nodded. “Dad wants me to join football and basketball.”

Dan furrowed his brow at the reasoning. “But what do you want to join?”

“I don’t know,” the new kid shrugged. “I’ll do my best at everything I try. Doesn’t really matter which sport I do to be honest. Anything to get out of the house.”

“I hear you,” Dan told him, “My little sisters brought home another dog on Sunday. Of course, they’ve decided she’s going to be an indoor pet but they won’t clean up after her.”

“That’s tough,” Joey grimaced imaging the mess that would result. “Anyway, I think you should join track. It’s already too late for football. The season is already started and everything. The track team isn’t nearly that strict.”

“I’ll talk it over with my dad,” the kid offered.

Dan turned to him again, bothered by his response. ‘Does he do anything just because he wants to?’ Dan wondered.

“New kid, what’s your name?” Joey asked.

“Phil,” the boy said. “Phil Lester.”

—

Dan had found out that Phil was a ‘Navy kid’. The town they lived in, Camden Beach, was adjacent to naval base. As a result, about a fourth of the population consisted of military families. Phil was just a recent addition. He had lived all over the country apparently, from Maryland to Florida to Washington and California. Phil said, “We go wherever they send us,” with a shrug. Dan thought to himself that it must have been hard to put down roots, create a safety blanket of friends and classmates you could always depend on. It explained why Phil was so easy to sit by himself and seem content. Dan decided that this was unnatural.

—

“Hey, you’re in Drama for second period right?”

Phil looked up at him and nodded, closing the book he was reading. “Yeah.”

“My name’s Dan,” Dan offered his hand.

Phil took it. “I know.”

“You do?”

“You’re not hard to miss,” Phil joked awkwardly.

Dan rolled his eyes but laughed. “I’ll take that as a compliment. So, a few of my friends and I are sitting over there—at the cool table—and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?”

“Uh…” Phil paused cautiously. When you’ve been the subject of bullying in the past, you become very cautious of overly kind popular kids. Though, at this school everyone seemed to be friends with everyone. It was strange but in a good way.

“I promise we won’t bite… not too hard, anyway.”

Phil laughed at that and said, “Yeah, just let me grab my things.”

Dan helped him carry his stuff back over. As he approached the table, Dan introduced Phil. Everyone responded with warm smiles and short waves. Dan invited Phil sit down next to him. The pretty girl sitting across from him gave a friendly smile and said, “I’m Giovanna but everyone calls me Gio.”

“Hi,” Phil replied.

“She’s the school Drama Queen.”

“I do always get the starring roles.”

“Yeah, you should have seen her as Hamlet.”

“They let you play Hamlet?” Phil asked curiously.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “We can audition for any role. As long as you’re good at it, who cares what gender you’re supposed to be?”

In any other environment, Gio would have been classed as the queen bee. She was a naturally beautiful girl with a personality to match. Along with the fact that her family was rich and took vacations in countries Dan wasn’t sure existed, Gio might have been unapproachable. But there was something incredible about her. She was modest, generous, and quite possibly the sweetest person Dan would ever know apart from his own mother. Gio was easy to love and to fall in love with. The guys at their school were simply too intimidated to ask her out. As a result, her confidence with boys was diminished, leading her to believe she was unattractive. It was something Dan thought was a blessing and a curse. He sometimes thought of her as a sister and therefore no one would ever be good enough for her.

“Let me introduce you to everyone,” Dan told him. He pointed to the guy sitting next to Gio with two fries up his nose. “That’s Ethan.”

Ethan and Dan went to preschool together. The other boy was biracial and he only lived with one parent, his mother. Growing up with Ethan had been full of getting in and out of trouble. He was definitely Dan’s closest male friend. Ethan was his first crush but he would never tell him that. When he came out to Ethan, there had been a heavy silence until Ethan finally said, “Don’t fall in love with me. I’ll only break your heart.” The resulting laughter lasted for the next few minutes. Neither of them ever took anything seriously.

A girl to the left of Ethan with dark skin and long braids yanked the fries out of his nose and glared at him. “That’s Tasha, his girlfriend since second grade. I still don’t get it, but whatever. If you need any help in Calculus, she’s your girl.” Tasha rolled her eyes, shook her head, and kissed Ethan, who smiled smugly.

Dan knew she loved Ethan’s childishness, and that was why she couldn’t stay annoyed for too long. He also knew Tasha needed the stress release. She was a genius by some standards, but she was never smart enough for her parents. If she wasn’t at school, she was at tutoring or music lessons or SAT prep even though most kids didn’t start that until eleventh grade. She was even on a competitive cheerleading team. Tasha was Harvard-bound since toddlerhood. Ethan was her comic relief personified.

Next to Tasha was a guy holding Dan’s left hand. “And this is my boyfriend, Theo.” Theo reached a hand over to Phil saying, “Nice to meet you man.”

Funny thing about Theo was that he practiced public displays of affection more than any other couple. And while, homophobia was pretty limited in their school, no one appreciated seeing two people make out behind the stairwells. Dan tried to tell Theo that not only would they get in more trouble than was worth it, he didn’t like sharing something so private with the entire school. Theo insisted that Dan owed it to him as his boyfriend. Dan had never had a boyfriend before and let Theo fondle him in public. Dan figured this was what couples did.

As lunch hour went on, the two couples at the table mainly talked among themselves. Gio and Phil were left to converse, which Dan quickly noted. ‘They do look cute together,’ he thought to himself.

—

_“Homecoming tickets are on sale in the courtyard! Ten dollars for two. Seven dollars for one. Guests must show a school ID at the gate.”_

“Are you going, Phil?” Dan asked, using the lacrosse stick to stop the ball Phil had just thrown him. Dan didn’t even try to get out of participating in P.E. today, even though this sport took great more skill than others.

“No, I’m not really a dance person.”

“What do you mean, ‘not a dance person’?” Dan said incredulously. “Not even just to hang out and see the stupid shit people get up to at these things? It’s hilarious.”

Phil caught Dan’s pass easily and said, “How would I get a date?”

“Ask someone?”

“I don’t know that many people.”

“Gio might want to go with you.”

“She would?”

“She says you’re interesting.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. She did say that.

“Okay, maybe I’ll go if she says yes,” Phil conceded.

Mr. Davidson blew his whistle and it time for them to pack up and head inside to change. The bell rang, and Theo was there at the locker room door waiting for Dan.

“Hey Phil,” Theo greeted him before taking Dan by his hand and turning away. Dan looked back over his shoulder, giving Phil smile of confidence. He knew that Gio had Spanish with him next period.

—

Gio was smiling when Dan met her outside the backdoors to walk home together like they always did. She lived two doors down, which had been incredibly convenient growing up.

“Why are you so smiley?”

“I have a date to homecoming,” she squealed.

“Who?” Dan asked excited, as if he didn’t set it up himself.

“Guess. He has these great blue eyes. He’s athletic and tall. Kinda quiet but fun to be around.”

“Theo?” Dan asked. “My Theo?”

“No, Dan! Phil! Phil asked me out. I can’t believe it. Me! No one has ever asked me to anything before.”

Dan hugged her, feeling overwhelmed with happiness for one of his best friends. They started on their walk home and talked about going shopping for the dance in two weeks. Dan made a mental note that if Phil hurt her, he would kill him.


	3. Two

Dan sat down at the table next to his brother Matthew like he always has. It was dinner time in the Howell house and his parents insisted that the entire family sit down to eat together at least once a day. Because school totally messed up breakfast and lunch, dinner was a part of their ‘family strengthening’ time.

If you asked Dan to describe his parents, he would probably say they were hippies, long-haired, nature loving, yoga practicing types. They hadn’t always been that way though. His mother, a women with long brown hair that reached the small of her back, used to work in marketing. His father who was now a landscaper had worked with fortune 500 company. They decided when Matt was three and Dan was one that they preferred a life in the country, in the beach town off the coast.

“Amy, would you like to begin?” Robert asked calmly resting the salad bowl on the dinner table.

“Yes, I would. Thank you. Today, I am feeling victorious.”

“Why, my love?”

“A reader of mine sent me an email detailing the efforts of her garden. She says my advice helped her free the garden of pests in an earth friendly way. I am glad to know my work has helped another person.”

“You should be glad, Mom,” Matthew said. “That is the purpose of your writing after all.”

“Exactly,” Amy smiled at her oldest. “Would you like to go next, Matthew?”

“Yes, thank you. Today, I am feeling overwhelmed and anxious. My college applications are due any day now and I think I might not get into my first choice.”

“Have you done all you could do?” Robert asked gently. Matt nodded. “Yes.”

“Then you’ve tried your best. The school that accepts you will be worthy of your presence. You will do well wherever you go.”

“I agree with your father,” Amy added. “Are you done?”

“Yes.”

“Daniel?”

“I am feeling happy.”

“That’s good. What happened?”

“The homecoming dance is in a few weeks and two of my friends are going together. Before they weren’t sure they wanted to but I helped them see a solution.”

Amy laughed. “Have you been match making?”

“I guess you could say that. It was for Gio and I think this guy, Phil, will treat her well.”

“Yes, you’ve told us about him before. We would love to meet him.”

“Invite him over for dinner one day,” Robert said. “Are you done?”

“Yes,” Dan nodded.

Claire looked to Robert who nodded for her to share. “I am feeling sad.”

“Why, my angel?”

“Rosie’s mad at me.” Claire looked at her sister who sat there glaring casserole dish in front of her.

“Rose, darling, what happened?” Amy asked her.

“Claire told everyone at school that she was the good twin. Now, they call me ‘The Evil One’.”

Dan and Matthew stifled a snort because it was just a little bit true. Out of the two, Claire was the calmer, sweeter, kinder one. Rose was quick to avenge and always believed the world was out to get her.

“Claire, is that true?”

“Yes, but I was talking about our Halloween costumes which Rose chose. She said she wanted to be the Devil and I should be the Angel. I said it was like I was the good twin and she was the evil one. I feel that she is overreacting.”

“You weren’t supposed to tell,” Rose pouted.

“Oh. I didn’t know it was a secret. I am sorry Rose.”

The entire family waited for Rose to accept the apology but she remained silent.

“If you do not accept her apology tell her why.”

“She should just know it was a secret.”

“We cannot read minds. You cannot blame Claire for that.”

“She always used to know everything about me.”

This had been a sore spot between the girls since starting to middle school. They had developed separate interests which led to have different friend groups and after school activities. Rose saw Claire drifting away from her. Claire enjoyed having her own identity and couldn’t see why Rose was always so mad at her. They were not identical and some people had trouble believing they grew up in the same house.

Claire put her hand on her sister’s. “How about we have a sisters only day this weekend; just the two of us. I know we don’t get to hang out that much anymore.”

Rose agreed and said, “Okay. I accept your apology.”

Dan breathed a sigh of relief. Whenever the girls were fighting, it could last for days. Even though their parents emphasized open communication constantly, Claire and Rose were just twelve and sometimes preferred to fight than be friends.

“Rose, would you like to go next?”

“I am excited to for this weekend. That’s it.”

“Glad to hear it. My turn.” Robert hummed before speaking, “I am feeling relaxed if I’m honest. It is nice to take a day off once in a while.”

“That’s true. Self-care is important,” Amy added.

With that settled, the family enjoyed dinner in peace.

Later, when Dan was working on homework (watching funny videos online), Matt knocked on his door. Dan invited him in, noticing the look of concern on his brother’s face.

“What’s up?”

“Theo.”

Dan looked confused. “What about Theo?”

“He called three times during dinner. I didn’t tell mom or dad because I thought you should handle it first.”

Nothing was allowed to interrupt dinner time so all four kids left their cell phones in their rooms and the all other electronics were turned off or silenced.

“Oh. He knows that if I can’t answer my cell, he can call the house.”

“Oh. Was there an emergency?” Matt asked.

“No. He just wanted to check up on me.” Dan failed to mention the four missed calls and five texts that Theo sent to his cell phone.

Matt raised his eyebrow.

“What?”

Watching his brother sit down on his bed, Dan turned around from his desk to give him his full attention.

“Don’t you think he’s a little overprotective? I see the way he’s always touching you and holding on to you. He wants to know where you are and what you’re doing at all times.”

“That’s not overprotective. In case you missed the announcement, we’re dating. I’m his boyfriend.”

“Yeah, his boyfriend. Not his property.”

Dan stood up and without raising his voice said, “Matt, please leave my room.”

“I will go to mom and dad if you don’t talk to me.”

Dan scoffed, “They love Theo.”

“They don’t know him as well as they think. They’ll listen to me, Dan. I am just trying to protect you,”

Dan was feeling helpless all of sudden. “Don’t tell them,” he begged. “I’ll tell Theo to cool off. Okay? Let me do this.”

“Okay, Dan. I don’t want you get hurt.”

“I know. I promise it’s not as a bad you think. We barely even fight,” he lied, not looking his brother in the eye.

—

The dance was spectacular—as well as a dance held in an aging high school gymnasium could be. At any rate everyone was a having a great time except for the couple of idiots who got drunk before they came. The music was a decent mixture of pop and other genres. Tasha and Ethan were so into it the crowd formed a circle around them to watch.

When a slow song played, Theo held Dan close as possible. They kissed for as long as the Ms. Kennedy allowed them to. There was always some adult waiting to pull the hormonal teenagers apart. For homecoming, it was Ms. Kennedy, a ninth and tenth grade English teacher.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Theo told him over the loud music. Assuming that the other boy just wanted a breath of fresh air, Dan readily agree. Once out in the hallway, Theo pressed Dan up against the lockers, forcing his tongue down his throat.

“Theo…” Dan struggled to say. “St–,”

“I thought this is what you wanted.”

“I do but you’re being too rough.”

“I’m too rough?” Theo growled, pushing Dan again. Wordlessly, Theo pulled Dan into the deserted bathroom down the hall. No one would come in because it was so far away from the gym.

“What are you doing?”

“You’re mine. You are my boyfriend. You owe me.” Theo’s hands gripped Dan’s wrists holding him up to wall, trapping him.

“Let me go!” Dan shouted, voice full of fear. “Theo, you have to—Stop!”

Theo’s lips left kisses all over Dan’s neck. “I want you to suck me off, Dan.”

“What? No!”

“It’s not like you haven’t done it before.”

“I wanted to before. Let me go or we’ll never do anything ever again.”

Theo’s grip only tightened. “Do it.”

“Okay,” Dan finally agreed after a bit of struggling.

“Yeah?” Theo smiled, the crazed look settling into his gaze.

“Umm yeah. I’m sorry. Let me make you to feel good. You gotta let me go so I can…”

Theo released Dan’s hands but gripped his shoulders instead. Dan dropped to his knees looking up at Theo lustfully. His fingers worked quickly to get Theo’s belt undone. Once he had, Dan pulled down his pants and boxers in one swift move. Next, Dan leaned closer, knowing that Theo would move his hands from Dan’s shoulders.

He did just as Dan thought. Dan pushed Theo to the ground with all his strength and stood. He ran from the bathroom, heading back to the dance.

Phil was standing not two feet from the door as if he was going inside.

“Phil!”

“Dan?”

“What are you doing down here?”

“Um… I’m going to the bathroom?”

“Why this one?”

Inside, Theo was shouting for Dan to come back, that he was going to teach him a lesson.

Phil arched his brow inquisitively. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Dan answered quickly. “Let’s just go back to the dance. I’ll show you the bathroom that’s closer.”

They walked away in silence. Dan could tell Phil was staring at him the entire time but said nothing.

Once Dan showed Phil where the restroom was, he returned to the gym to find Gio in tears, standing among the wallflowers.

“What’s wrong?”

“Dan, can you walk me home? I can’t stay here.”

“Yeah, of course. Let’s go.”


	4. Three

“Gio?”

“Dan?”

“Giovanna,” Dan whined.

Rolling her eyes, Gio whined, “Daniel.”

“Giovanna d’ Lorenzo.”

“Daniel Howell,” she mocked him further.

Dan stopped walking and folded his arms. “We tell each other everything. What happened?”

Gio bit her lip and looked down at her shoes. “God, it’s so horrible. I never want to think about it again.”

“What?” Dan urged her. Gio threw up her arms in surrender. Exasperatedly, she took a deep breath before recounted what had had happened earlier that night.

“We were having such a great time, you know? Phil was so nice and I was so glad he asked me instead of someone else. Then a slow song came on so we got close and I—I thought he wanted to. He was looking at me like he wanted to but when I leaned into kiss him, he let go and ran off, leaving me standing there. I swear everyone saw it and now they’re laughing at me.”

“Oh Gio, it probably had nothing to do with you. Maybe he got sick. I did see him. I had to show him where the bathroom was.”

“So I’m not disgusting?”

“No. Never. I want to let you in on a little secret.” Gio looked up at him skeptically. Dan was tall and in so many respects treated her like a sister, including the way he comforted her. “The reason why the guys at school seem to ignore you is because you intimidate them. They’re afraid they’ll be rejected because a girl like you wants the best. I bet they think you’re dating some hot older guy who goes to a fancy prep school or something. They’re intimidated.”

“Intimidated by me?” she asked, pointing to herself. “Me?”

“Yes,” Dan laughed. “You. You aren’t disgusting. I’m sure whatever happened with Phil has nothing to do with you. He’s probably beating himself up over missing a chance to kiss you.”

Gio smiled as Dan wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. “Hey Dan? Where’s Theo? Does he even know you left?”

“Um, yeah I texted him when I grabbed my jacket,” Dan lied.

“He’s so good to you. I can tell you love him, don’t you?”

Dan only pulled Gio closer and did not answer.

—

After dropping off Gio, Dan returned home. His mom, dad, and sisters were in the living room playing a board game Dan didn’t bother to decipher.

“Dan! Why are you home so early? It’s only 9:30,” Robert asked, looking at his watch. “No good?”

“No, it was alright. Something happened to Gio and we decided to come home early.”

“I hope she’s alright,” Amy said sympathetically.

“She will be. I’m going to get out of these clothes and go straight to bed.”

“Goodnight,” his parents said.

Dan sat up until one a.m. waiting for Matt to get in. Because he was older and he had a girlfriend, Dan didn’t expect him home any earlier. Matt had been at the dance too because it was his senior year and he had been nominated Homecoming King. Dan hadn’t stayed long enough to see if he won or not.

“Matt,” Dan whispered into the hallway, waving his brother forward.

“What now?” Matt mumbled under his breath.

“Something happened. I need to talk to you.”

“What?”

“Promise you won’t yell.”

“What is it, Dan?”

“Theo… He tried to force me to umm… He really scared me, Matt.”

“He tried to force you? To do what? Have sex?”

“Oral,” Dan nodded. I said I didn’t want to but the only way to get him to let me go was to pretend like I wanted to,” Dan confessed.

Matt’s face went rigid. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Matt, no. I told you because I didn’t want it to become a big thing. Please just hear me out.”

“No one is allowed to treat you like that Dan. I knew there was something wrong with this kid. Why don’t you want to get him in trouble? Is it because you’re gay? You think they won’t believe you?”

The thought that no one would believe him because of his sexuality never crossed Dan’s mind. Moreover, he thought they more inclined to ignore it because he was gay. He had learned in class that rape, by definition, could only happen to women or girls and even though he thought it was bullshit, the laws still stand. What would he say when they asked what happened? Dan didn’t know.

“No,” Dan said fiercely. “Nothing happened. It’s not worth it. I got away before he could do anything. I only told you because Theo might not take our break up well. That’s it. I wanted you to help me.”

“You want me to look out for you.”

“Exactly.”

Matt sighed. “Dan, I always have.”

“Thanks,” Dan leaned into his brother, feeling safer already. “Did you win?”

“Hell yeah, I’m the King.”

“It’s just high school. Calm down.”

—

On Monday, Dan managed to convince his parents that he needed a self-care day. Amy told him he would have do everything for himself because his father would be out at Camden Heights all day working and she had a lot of writing to do. Dan could not have asked for better. Around midday, he received a text from Gio which said, “Theo and Phil aren’t here. Did you guys all decide to skip today?”

“Can you come over later? I’ll explain then.”

“Okay.”

Dan was in the back yard when Gio finally came over. Dan loved their yard because it resembled a small-scale jungle. His mother planted exotic trees and flowers all over. It made him feel separate from the world. He was sitting in the porch swing when he saw Gio and waved her over.

“So you’re not sick?”

“No. Just wanted to stay home.”

“Your parents are so cool. Mine would never let me do that.” Then she smiled. “Mine wouldn’t know if I went to school or not so whatever.”

“There are some perks I guess.”

Gio laughed as his casualness of describing his parents as if he chose them, like he made a good investment by being born into this particular family. “So what’s up?”

“I think me and Theo are over.”

Gio’s face fell. “Oh no. Why?”

“Have you ever noticed how possessive he was?”

She nodded uncertainly. “I just thought he was joking because you seemed to go along with it.”

“He wasn’t joking. The other night, at the dance, he tried to kiss me but I told him to stop. Then he got mad, dragged me in to the bathroom in the science hall, you know?” She nodded. “Then he tried to force me to go down on him.”

“Dan, did you–,”

“No, I managed to get away. He’s been texting me nonstop but I haven’t answered.”

“Tell someone like the principal or the police. Dan, he really could have hurt you.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. It’s your choice.”

“Thanks.”

—

At dinner, Dan lied to his family for the first time. Of course he’d told lies before but never about something as simple as his feelings.

“I feel rested.”

_I feel betrayed, exposed, and vulnerable._

“I spent the day catching up on a few assignments and Gio came over.”

_I spent the day watching over my shoulder even though I was safe in my own home. I jumped every time my phone vibrated or chimed. I can’t seem to get rid of this anxious feeling in my stomach._

“I’m done.”

_I don’t want you to see me differently. That’s why I won’t say anything._

“Sounds like your self-care day was well worth it,” Robert commented then it was his turn.

Dan spent the rest of dinner afraid that Matt would tell. He could always trust his brother but at the same time, Dan’s never had a secret this big before. He knew more than anyone that Matt would do what was best for Dan, even if that isn’t what Dan wanted.

Matt didn’t tell. He did introduce the topic though. He said, “Mom, Dad, what would you do if you found out one of your children was in an abusive relationship?”

Amy cleared her throat and calmly replied, “Encourage him or her to seek support in family, remind him or her that they are loved and abuse and love are not synonymous, and help him or her seek justice. No one should go through that alone.”

“Interesting question, Matthew,” Robert said. “Anything you’d like to tell us?”

“No,” Matt smiled politely. “It came up in class today and I wondered how you would handle it. Everyone knows I have the weirdest parents.”

“Oh,” Amy smiled. “Always happy share our philosophy.”

—

Tuesday, Dan mustered up the courage to go to school. The Friday night dance was behind him… until he saw Theo at his locker. Gio’s was upstairs getting her own things so she wasn’t there next to him for support.

“Dan.”

“I need to get to my locker.”

“Dan, please just listen to me.”

“There’s nothing for you to say. Theo, you hurt me and I want nothing to do with you.”

“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

Dan finally got the combination right and his blue locker popped open. He got the books he needed and put away his coat. Theo kept talking but Dan wasn’t really listening. “Look, we’re not boyfriends anymore. Leave me alone.”

“I love you, Dan.”

Dan froze for a moment remembering what his mother had said the night before.

_Abuse and love are not synonymous._

“You don’t love me. You love controlling me. Theo, I never want to speak to you again.”

The other boy’s face went rigid as he stepped closer to Dan. He said nothing but just stared him down menacingly. Dan remained calm, rallying up as much aggression as he could, telling Theo silently that he wouldn’t take it anymore.

Theo slammed his fist against the locker next to Dan’s head causing Dan to wince. But he eventually backed off when the bell rang as a warning to report to first period. Dan let out a sigh of relief when Theo turned the corner and he was alone again.

–

Second period brought the unexpected.

Mrs. Reid, a heavy set vivacious women, taught Drama and Theater. She was known for her eclectic style and love of Broadway. Once a year she held a field trip to New York City which was open to any student who would appreciate it. On any given day, she was by far Dan’s favorite teacher. Today was very different.

“On the board is a list of partners that I have come up with. You and your partner will produce a scene that represents a given emotion. For example, Tina and David may get anger as their emotion. They would need to produce a short scene demonstrating what the emotion connotes. It can be anything your heart desires. Please try to think out of the box.”

Dan hadn’t looked up at the list yet when he saw Phil walk over to him and sit down.

“No.”

“Yeah…” Phil shrugged.

Mrs. Reid’s shrill voice cut through the din. “There will be no partner switching.”

“Fuck my life,” Dan mumbled. “I don’t know what made you think you could treat my friend that way but let’s just make one thing clear; once this project is finished, we will not speak to each other.”

”So she told you?”

“Yeah, she told me how you embarrassed her and left her all alone.”

“I’m sorry. Gio’s so nice, I just… It would have been the first time a girl kissed me and I freaked out. Sorry.”

Dan scoffed. “There’s no way.”

“What?”

“Gio was almost your first kiss?”

“Yeah I never really hung out with girls before. We move so often that I don’t make friends and definitely not girlfriends.”

Dan’s glare lessened. “You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I don’t want her to hate me. But I was embarrassed.”

“Gio thinks you find her repulsive.”

“That’s not true. Dan, can you tell her what I told you. She’ll believe you.”

Phil’s voice was pleading and Dan half expected him to get on his knees. “Okay. I’ll tell her.”

“Thanks, man. About this project, it’s due on Friday. We should meet up after practice or something.”

“My house is a mess,” Dan said honestly. “But you’re welcome to come over. It’s just a block away”

“Sounds good.”


	5. Four

“Trust: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.”

Phil was too busy petting Dan’s dog, Lucy, to really give Dan any feedback.

“Phil. Come on. We need to do this tonight. You’re busy the rest of the week, remember.”

“Yeah, sorry. She’s just so friendly.” The Black Lab nuzzled into Phil’s lap, getting more comfortable.

“How would you emote trust? We need to figure out our characters backgrounds and why they might show this emotion so obviously.”

“Um, maybe they’re doing those trust exercise. Like they’re two students at an acting school performing with each other.”

“That’s good but I think Mrs. Reid wants something deeper.”

“Like what?”

“Well… Like telling a really huge secret to that one person you think you can trust. A secret that could mean the difference between life and death.”

“That’s good. What do you want the secret to be?”

“Well this is kind of personal but I remember when I told my brother, Matt, I thought I was gay. I knew my family would accept me but it isn’t like that for everyone,” Dan said. “We could make that the secret. I don’t mind being the one to tell it. You can be my best friend, or brother or something.”

“Dan, can I tell you something? I’m gay.”

“I thought I was the one telling,” Dan laughed. “That was good acting, I almost believed you.”

“Dan, I’m not acting. I mean it. I am gay.”

“What?”

“That’s why I ran away when Gio tried to kiss me. I didn’t know how to tell her. I couldn’t tell her and I didn’t want her to think that I wanted to date her. That wouldn’t be fair, you know? It’s setting her up to have her heartbroken.”

“But… But why are you telling me? We’re barely friends.”

“I need to tell someone. It’s wearing me down keeping it to myself. You’re the only person I’ve ever told. I thought you’d understand.”

“Because I’m gay?” Dan supplied.

“You’re loyal. You are so incredibly loyal to your friends. I hoped you could extend that grace to me.”

Dan blinked. No one had ever told him he was a good friend. It’s one of those things you know is true about yourself like being left handed or having green eyes. But it’s nice when someone else appreciates it though. “Yeah, you bet. I won’t tell. Though, if you came out only a hand full of people in this town would judge you.”

“Two of them live in my house,” Phil said, not missing a beat.

“Right,” Dan murmured. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s finish this. My dad wants me home for dinner.”

***

Dan can’t explain how much of an amazing person Gio is. After he explained what Phil was going through (the lie Phil originally told him), she was more than understanding. She even volunteered to go to Phil’s track meet to cheer him on.

“He’s so shy and sweet, Dan. I don’t think he’s ever had real friends,” she shared with him while they sat on the bleachers waiting for next event to start.

“You’re probably right.”

Dan heard someone calling them both and turned around to see Ethan coming down the stands. “Hey guys.”

“Hey,” the both replied, sliding over to give him space to sit down.

Gio looked around and asked, “No Tasha today?”

“Violin lessons are Tuesdays and Thursdays,” Ethan said, looking up like he was trying to remember the timetable in his head.

“How does she have time to even breathe?” Gio chuckled.

“She’s just that incredible,” Ethan answered proudly. “I do wish she had more time to just relax.”

“You’re such a caring boyfriend,” Dan laughed playfully.

“I am, aren’t I? Speaking of boyfriends, where’s yours? Isn’t he always around.”

“You didn’t tell him?” Gio turned towards Dan.

“Tell me what?”

“Theo and Dan broke up.”

“Sorry to hear that man. You okay?”

Dan nodded. “Yeah. I broke up with him so yeah…”

“Alright. If you say so.”

The starting pistol went off and grabbed their attention. Phil was out in front already but some guy from Jackson High was coming in close behind. Phil made it across the finish line first and Gio stood up, cheering for him loudly. The boys followed her lead cheering, “Phil! Phil! He’s our man! If he can’t do it, no one can!”

A few people turned around to look at them but Dan and his friends didn’t care. Phil was going to know that he had friends cheering for him.

Phil must have heard them because he waved to them with a blush creeping across his face in the chilly air. Later he would say that it was because of the race but Dan knew better.

—

 “My parents think you guys are hilarious,” Phil said, sitting down to their lunch table.

“What? Why?” Gio asked, putting down her sandwich.

“They heard your cheering at my track meet. Anyway, they’re glad to see I’m not hanging out with a bunch of druggies and weirdoes.”

“Dan’s plenty weird,” Ethan chimed in.

“Hey!”

“I meant it in the nicest way possible.”

“Fuck you, E.”

Gio handed Dan a large packet that she took from her bag.

“What’s this?”

“Script. This semester’s production will be—drum roll please?”

Phil and Ethan gently tapped the edge of the table to resemble a low rumbling sound.

“Romeo and Juliet.”

“How cliché!” Dan exclaimed. “Has Mrs. Reid lost her mind?”

“You can’t lose something you never had, Dan,” Gio retorted quickly. “Anyway, I think I’ll actually play a girl this time. Juliet’s not so bad.”

“You assume you’ll get the part,” Dan rolled his eyes. The whole table went silent and just stared at him. “Fine. We all know you’ll get the part.”

There was laughter before Phil said, “Are you going to audition, Dan?“

“Yeah. I feeling the Romeo part. Maybe I’ll even go for Juliet.”

Gio glared at him. “Listen, I will not kiss you again.”

“Again?” Phil asked, eyebrows arched.

Gio stiffened. “Forget I said anything. We do not speak of it.”

“ _She_ doesn’t. They were playing spin the bottle in sixth grade,” Ethan told him.

“Ethan, stop,” Tasha said. “Gio hates this story.”

“Okay fine. But you know how it goes… one thing leads to another.”

One thing led to Dan sticking his tongue down her throat, Gio throwing up from the sheer anxiety of the situation and all of Ashley Kim’s guests talking about it at school the following Monday. Turning eleven had never been so scandalous.

“Ethan, you suck,” Gio pouted.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed,” Phil said gently. “We do silly things in middle school.”

“Thanks,” The girl nodded and opened the script to the first page. Dan still had his eyes on Phil who didn’t seem to notice for the rest of lunch.

—

“The season’s over right?” Dan asked. It was half way through December and it had even snowed a little the night before.

“Yeah. We had our last meet last week. Why?” Phil asked.

“I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Can you help me run lines? I would ask Gio but she gets stressed when I don’t do something perfectly.”

“Yeah. When?”

“This afternoon at my house.”

“Okay, let’s meet outside at the barracuda.” The school’s mascot was a large cartoon fish, The Barracuda. A local seafood restaurant donated the statue when the swim team went to state and won first place in most of the events.

“Great.”

—

Phil was already standing outside when Dan came out. “Ready?”

“Yeah.”

On the walk home Phil asked, “Where’s Gio?”

“She had a doctor’s appointment earlier.”

“Oh.”

“Did you want to talk to her?”

“No actually. She’s been so nice to me and I was wondering if you told her my secret. I mean she is your best friend after all.”

“No, I didn’t,” Dan smiled. “That’s just who she is. You’ll get used to it.”

Dan’s house was only five minutes walking distance so they arrived in practically no time. The dogs greeted Phil more excitedly than they greet Dan but he wasn’t jealous. It just made him laugh.

“Let’s go to my room. Everyone’s going to start coming home soon. They won’t bother us in there.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want anything to eat?”

“No thanks,” Phil shook his head, as he took off his winter coat.

“Well, I do. I’m always starving by the time I get home.”

Phil laughed. “I was just being polite. On second thought…”

—

“You want me to be Juliet?”

“Just read from right here,” Dan urged Phil pointing to the line.

Phil cleared his throat and began, “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.”

Dan laughed at how stilted Phil’s words were but read his lines professionally. “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”

“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.”

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take,” Dan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Phil’s. He half expected Phil to move away but he didn’t. In fact, Phil leaned into the kiss, letting his hand rest on Dan’s.

Someone else cleared their throat, forcing them apart.

“Good afternoon,” Dan’s father smirked. “You must be Phil.”

Phil blushed profusely and finally got out, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Howell.”

“Call me Robert. Are you staying for dinner?”

“No, sir.”

“Okay… resume whatever it was you were doing.” The man waved his hands dismissively and left.

“Oh god, that was embarrassing.” Phil dropped his face into his palms. Dan burst into laughter.

“You’re so cute. You don’t have to be afraid of my dad.”

Dan kept laughing even though Phil’s face had flushed a somehow deeper red.

“You really think I’m cute?”

“Yeah. Why do you think I kissed you?”

“It says ‘he kisses her’ in the script.”

“Why do you think I picked that scene to work on,” Dan giggled.

“I—I don’t know.”

“I like you. A lot.”

Phil blinked. “You do?”

“Yes and it would really make me feel better if you shared your opinion on this whole thing.”

Phil smiled even wider and shrugged. “I like you too. Ever since that day in gym class when you faked having cramps.”

“You remember that? That’s your first impression of me and you still like me?”

“You seemed funny and really good-looking. I was really happy you decided to talk to me. I never would have been brave enough.”

“I’m glad too,” Dan smiled. “Phil, do you want to be my…”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” Dan sighed, still smiling with blush on his own cheeks.

“I do but I can’t be as open as you are, you know. My dad will kill me when he finds out. If he finds out… I figure I just have to make it to graduation and then I’ll be better off telling him.”

“That’s okay. We won’t let that stop us. I really do want to be your boyfriend, Phil.”

Phil leaned to kiss Dan’s cheek but Dan turned to meet his lips.  

“You know, if I was kissing a boy in my bed, I would close the door before anyone saw us.” A female voice remarked loudly.

Dan opened one eye to see Rose and Claire standing in his door frame. He waved them off and continued exactly what he was doing; kissing his boyfriend.


	6. Five

Gio took the news well. She only slammed her locker, glared at him and stormed off. At least she didn’t slam Dan’s head into it. That was good, right?

“Gio, wait!”

“How could you? You knew I liked him.”

“He’s gay,” Dan said in low voice. “He always has been. I didn’t do this on purpose.”

“Still, Dan… It hurts. Just leave me alone for a bit.”

“Okay. See you later?”

Gio just shook her head and walked away. Dan didn’t see her until rehearsals.

“Romeo, where’s your Juliet?” Mrs. Reid shouted from third row center.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her all day.”

“We’re a week from opening night and she’s not here?”

“I can try her cell again,” Dan said.

“Don’t bother. I’m here,” Gio said, entering stage left.

“Don’t be late again Ms. d’ Lorenzo,” Mrs. Reid warned. “Okay. From the top.”

—

“You can’t help that you like him and he likes you,” Gio said. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted.”

“It’s okay,” Dan nodded. “You still my best girl?”

She couldn’t help but smile at that endearment. “Always will be.”

Dan smiled widely and pulled her into his arms. “Listen, me and Phil are going to the movies later. You can come if you want.”

“That’s not a good idea. I’d just be the third wheel. You two will probably kiss the entire time. I want you to have fun though. Don’t worry about me.”

“You sure?”

“Yup. Come on, grab your stuff so we can walk home.”

As they turned on to their street, Dan stopped Gio from going any further. “Don’t tell anyone that Phil and I are dating. Phil’s not out yet. His family won’t accept him if he’s gay.”

“Okay. I won’t tell anyone.”

“I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.”

“Not even me?”

“Yeah. You understand right?”

“I do. I won’t tell a soul.”

—

**_Theo_ ** _: Are you awake?_

**_Theo_ ** _: Answer me._

**_Theo_ ** _: I miss you._

**_Theo_ ** _: Can we talk?_

**_Theo_ ** _: You’re making me very angry, Dan. You’ll regret this._

The next morning was a Saturday so his parents were both home. Dan couldn’t ignore Theo’s possessiveness anymore. And even though Dan had moved on, it was clear Theo hadn’t. In fact, Dan could swear Theo was still following him around school and around town.

“Morning, Daniel. You’re up early for a Saturday.”

“Couldn’t really sleep. Mom?”

“Hmm?” she answered sleepily, reaching for the whistling kettle.

“I need to talk you guys. Where’s Dad?”

“I think he’s in the shed. He’ll be in soon. What’s wrong?”

Dan sat down at the kitchen counter and sighed. “Let’s wait for Dad.”

“Wait for Dad why?” Robert said, sliding the back door shut.

“Daniel wants to talk to us.”

“Okay, we’re listening.”

Dan closed his eyes before he began. He was anxious and it was the only way he could get through it.

“At the homecoming dance, Theo forced me into an empty bathroom and tried to force himself on me. I managed to get away before he could. I broke up with him the next time I saw him. He’s still texting me. Last night, he sort of threatened me.”

“Let me see,” Amy firmly. Dan handed her the phone. She flipped it open and saw exactly what Dan was talking about.

Robert approached his son and put a tender hand on his back, trying to soothe him.

“Rob.” Amy handed the phone to her husband before wiping the sleep and frustration away from her face.

“Did anyone see what happened that night?” Robert asked. “I believe you. We need a witness though.”

“No. We were alone.”

“Okay. Was Theo always this controlling of you? Was he always sending you messages like these?” Amy asked.

“Yes. He used to leave lots of them and when I couldn’t answer right away like during class or during dinner or family time, he’d get mad. Matt says he used to leave messages on the house phone too. He would delete them because I asked him to.”

“Matt’s question at dinner, the one about abusive relationships was about you.” Amy shook her head. “We’re getting a restraining order on Monday.”

Dan’s eyes open in surprise. “You’re going to the police?”

“Dan, baby, he sexually assaulted you. He’s been emotional abusive. He needs help and you need protection,” Amy explained. “Do not feel sorry for him. You don’t owe him anything.”

“Listen to your mother.” Robert took the cup of tea she poured him and sipped it slowly. “Do you want to press charges for the assault?”

Dan shook his head no. “It’s my word against his and he’ll probably say he was just fooling around.”

Amy and Robert shared a look. “We’re glad you came to us.”

“Matt isn’t in trouble is he?”

“Only a little.” Robert said seriously.

“I begged him to keep it a secret. He’s been looking out for me since I was born. I thought it would be enough. He’s my brother, you can’t expect him to tell you my secrets.”

“Dan, this isn’t that kind of secret. You could have been seriously hurt or worse. We have to know these things. We’re your parents.”

“Fine. Okay.” Dan gave in.

—-

Sunday afternoon there was a knock at the door. Rob had gotten up first and went to see who it was.

“I think you should go home. You aren’t welcome here.”

“Robert, I—“

“I am usually calm man but if you do not get off my property, I will kill you.”

“Dad, who is it?” Dan asked walking into the living after having heard the doorbell. He was expecting Gio to come over.

“No one.” Robert slammed the door, sat down, and grabbed the newspaper. Dan went to the window and saw Theo walking down the driveway.

“What did he want?”

“Who cares?”

“Dad?”

“Daniel, I need quiet time please.”

—

Later, Gio walked into his room unexpectedly. Dan sat up. “I didn’t hear the doorbell ring.”

“Your dad was already outside so he let me in. Is everything okay? He seemed a little… not calm.”

“Theo’s been texting me so I told my parents about it. He came by earlier. I think my dad was really mad.”

“I would be too,” Gio said honestly. “What are they going to do?”

“Get a restraining order.”

“Good.” Gio sat down in his desk chair. “I was worried you would let him get away with what he did.”

“He won’t leave me alone. Theo’s never been stable either.”

“What do you mean?”

“He… He has to take medication every day. He says it keeps him from ‘bouncing off the walls’.”

“Maybe he stopped taking them, Dan. Maybe that’s why he’s been following us—well, you.”

“You saw him too?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to scare you or anything and I wasn’t sure. Our school’s pretty small and he seemed to always be in the background.”

“You don’t think he’ll do anything, right?”

“No,“ she answered. "At least, I hope not.”


	7. Six

_Two months later_

Phil was running the relay and Dan was there with the usual group cheering him on. Even though he could have joined the basketball team like his father wanted, Dan convinced Phil to choose based on what he wanted. Phil had been on the track team since he moved to Camden Beach. He liked the coaches and his teammates. He told his father he wanted to stay with track and surprisingly the man had been okay with it. Phil didn’t make decisions often so he had been terrified. Luckily it all worked out. Dan had been very proud of him.

Dan recognized Phil’s family, they were sitting close to the bottom of the bleachers. Every time Dan and his friends cheered loudly for Phil, the little girl would turn around and giggle. Her name was Mary Faith and she had their mother’s jet black hair just like Phil.

Dan had learned quickly that Phil’s family was not only military but devoutly Christian. They never saw each other on Sundays because Phil had church. He also helped his mother with Sunday school. His parents expected him to be respectful, obedient and trustworthy. Phil was all these things. They also expected him to graduate, go into the navy or the marines, marry a nice Christian girl, and give them grandchildren. Phil had confided in Dan about his family situation with great anxiety knowing that he would never fulfil their hopes for him. Phil still tried though.

The Camden Beach Barracudas came is first causing everyone in the stands to way the blue and yellow pompoms. The crowd got to its feet, praising the athlete’s for a job well done. Phil looked up to the crowd and found his friends easily. He waved at everyone and then winked at Dan causing Gio to squeal.

Mary Faith had been watching the whole time and pulled at her mother’s skirt. She said something and pointed towards them. Dan and Gio froze. The woman smiled at them both before turning to her husband. Phil’s father looked back to the teenagers then waved.

“What is going on?” Dan said through clenched teeth as he continued to smile at the Lesters.

“I think they think the wink was for me.”

“Oh,” Dan released a heavy breath. “Thank God.”

“Your boyfriend’s parents think I’m his girlfriend. Doesn’t that bother you?”

“As long as Phil feels safe to go home tonight, I don’t care. They could think you eloped.”

“Yo, what’s Theo doing here?” Ethan interjected. “He’s not allowed on school grounds, right? What’s that in his pocket?” Theo walked across the gym calmly with both hands in his hoodie pockets. Dan rose to his feet feeling like something terrible was coming.

Theo approached the bench where Phil was getting a drink of Gatorade. The cold metal of a gun touched skin. Phil turned to see Theo with the weapon at his own head.

“Theo, put the gun down.”

The crowd, having realized what was going on, was frozen including Dan who was still standing and watching the whole thing unfold in front of him.

“You took him from me. You’re the reason why he doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Who, Theo?”

“Dan. I know you’re dating! I saw you two. You and him are together now!” Theo screamed loud enough for everyone to hear him. “I’m not good enough right? Why don’t you just kill me? I’ll let you pull the trigger.”

“I don’t want that,” Phil said softly. “Everything will be okay. Just put the gun down.”

Theo stood up and faced the crowd. He looked at Dan with tears in his eyes. Dan shook his head and mouthed ‘Don’t.’

Theo lowered the handgun before breaking down completely. A police officer ran over and handcuffed him. His rights weren’t read to him however. It seemed the measure was to stop him from hurting himself.

The meet was cancelled and evacuated. Dan had been crying since the moment Theo pressed the gun to his head. Gio, Ethan and Tasha comforted him. The police needed a statement from Dan but he was underage and they couldn’t interview him without a parent or guardian. By the time all was said and done, Dan found that Phil and his family were gone.

—

“Thank goodness, you’re okay,” Amy cried when Dan walked out of the school building with Gio. “I got a call from the school but when I got here no one was allowed inside. I thought he’d hurt you.”

“He tried to kill himself. He wasn’t going to hurt anyone else,” Dan answered listless.

“Still glad you’re okay—that you’re both okay. Gio, honey, let me take you home. Maybe you’re parents haven’t heard yet.”

“They’re in London this week. Only the housekeeper’s at home,” Gio shrugged.

“You can stay with us if you want company. I’m sure the girls would like it.”

Claire and Rose loved Gio since they were little. They saw her as a big sister. On more than one occasion, Gio gave them advice about things they didn’t want their mother to know they needed advice on.

“I’d like that. Thanks.”

At home, Dan’s father embraced him the moment he walked through the door. “I just heard.”

“Where were you, Rob? I tried calling.” Amy asked desperately.

“Phone died.”

“That was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. I thought Dan was…”

Rob looked over at his wife who was on the verge of tears once more. He released Dan and went to comfort Amy with the words, “He’s okay. He’s standing right here looking at us like we’re crazy.”

Amy laughed wetly and wiped the tears from her eyes. “You’re right. You’re right. He’s okay. He’s right here.”

_‘Breaking new tonight on Fox 103. Local teenager brings track meet to a halt when he tries to commit suicide with a gun. Police are not releasing the name of the teen because he is still a minor. Sources say he is a sophomore at Camden Beach High School located near Fort Camden Naval Base.’_

“Girls, turn that off,” Robert told them. They resisted but Claire finally took the remote in hand and did as he said.

“Are you okay?” Claire asked Dan and Gio.

“We’re okay.” Gio smiled weakly. “No one was hurt. We’re all a bit shaken up though.”

Dan left the room, muttering, “I think I need to call Phil.” He remember what Theo had said. He had outed Phil to the entire school and his family.

“Hello?” a deep voice said. It wasn’t Phil’s which was strange.

“Hi. Can I speak to Phil?”

“Who is this?”

“Dan. We go to school together.”

“No. Don’t call again.”

The line went dead. Dan tried calling back but no one picked up.

“Did you get to talk to him?” Gio asked.

Dan stuttered, “N-No. I-I think his dad believes what Theo said. He wouldn’t let me talk to Phil.”

Gio eyes went wide. “What do you think will happen to him?”

“I don’t know. Phil was always afraid of his dad. I never really knew why.” Dan breathing picked up and he appeared to be struggling to breathe. “I have to… find out… if he’s okay.”

“Dan, take deep breaths. You’re having a panic attack. Tasha has them all the time. It helps to steady your breathing as much as you can.”

“No time… Phil…”

“You can’t help him if you don’t breathe,” she warned firmly.

“What if… What if they hurt him? I have to go,” Dan announced, standing up and leaving the room. Gio ran after him begging him to sit down and breathe.

“Amy, Robert, Dan thinks something’s wrong with Phil and he’s panicking.”

Robert stopped Dan before he could even reach the door. “You aren’t going anywhere tonight.”

“Phil…” Dan gasped. “He…”

“No. We can check on him in the morning. You need to take care of yourself. You’ve have a rough day. Daniel, you are not going to leave this house.”

Dan could sense the seriousness in his father’s words. It was so rare that Robert took on that tone so Dan had no choice but to obey. He would have to wait until morning. Dan didn’t think that was possible.

—

“Daniel! Your phone’s ringing,” Amy shouted through the house in the early morning hours. She had heard the familiar chime during her morning stretch. She shook Dan awake saying, “It’s Phil.”

Dan sat up and took the phone answering without a second thought. It had been three days since the incident at the track meet. Dan hadn’t heard from Phil and all seemed hopeless.

“I can’t talk long,” Phil told him in a whisper. “Dan, they’re sending me away.”

“What? Where?”

“Military school. I heard my father talking to one of his old buddies who runs an academy for boys. Dan, he thinks it’ll straighten me out, put me on the right track. I don’t know what to do.” Phil sounded panicked, on the edge.

“It’ll be okay. I’m here. It’ll be okay,” Dan reminded him.

“I can’t do this.”

“Run away. Come and stay here.”

“I can’t get out. I keep trying.”

“Did he hurt you, Phil?”

“Yeah but it’s not that bad.”

“Can you climb out the window?”

“No. It’s too—Dan, he’s coming. I have to go. I love you okay.”

“I love you too.”

The line went silent and Dan reached out for his mother. “They’re sending him away.” He crumpled into her side and cried on her shoulder. The past four days had been a complete nightmare and it felt like the sadness was relentless.


	8. Seven

_Two Months Later_

“Daniel, it’s time for dinner.”

“Not hungry,” Dan mumbled turning over to face the wall instead of his door.

“Then come and sit with us. It’s family time.”

“I really don’t want to, Mom.”

“It isn’t healthy to shut yourself away from the world. I know you miss Phil but–,”

“But what?” Dan bit back. “He’s gone and it’s my fault.”

“He was sent to military school. He hasn’t died. You’ll see him again,” she said softly.

Dan sighed, feeling the anxiety rising in his throat. “What if he’s different?”

Amy stepped inside the room and shut the door behind her to give them privacy. Her son needed her completely, something she believed she had failed to give him in the recent months since the incident.

“Are afraid that he’ll hate you?”

Dan nodded.

“Why would he hate you, Dan?”

“It was my ex who outed him. If Phil never dated me, no one would know he was gay.”

“You’re feeling guilty about that? Honey, it’s not your fault that Theo stopped taking his medication, threatened to kill himself and outed Phil to his family. Things happen that are out of our control. And Dan?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think he’ll deny his feelings for you?”

Dan didn’t nod his head right away but eventually affirmed her suspicions.

“Dad and I were very strict conservative types that forced you to hide who you are, would you still be gay?”

“Yes.”

“It’s not something you can change,” she said, “no matter how hard you tried.”

“I know but he was hiding it for so long. They’re probably scaring him back into the closet. What if they’re hurting him because of it?”

“Don’t think that’s happening. Phil could be doing okay. He’s smart, friendly and very strong from what you’ve told me. Give him some credit, Dan. Don’t give up on yourself because what’s happened. You have to keep going. One day, Phil will be eighteen and he’ll be free to do whatever he wants. It’s only two more years. And summer will be here soon. He’ll have to come home, won’t he?”

Dan knew his mother was right. Everything she said was completely true and was worth considering. To the untrained eye she seemed like a woman with her head in the clouds. She had a masters in Marketing and ran a very successful website centered on natural living. Dan might never admit it but he looked up to her, especially in moments like this. She always listened to him. He had inherited her loyalty and wished to develop her thoughtfulness in time.

“Yes. Maybe I’ll see him when he comes home.”

“Exactly. Now, I have to go and join everyone else. Are you coming?” She asked, reaching out for him. Dan took her hand and got off the bed. Amy squeezed his hand before letting it go.

—

_Six Months Later_

“Have you started thinking about college?”

“No.”

“Are you going to start thinking about college?”

“No.”

“Dan, your grades are good. You can get into the state schools no problem. You’ll probably get a few scholarships as well. Now, based on your family income, you may not get any grants.” Mr. Lopez, the junior class counselor, rambled off the facts as he read them from the computer. “Junior year is a big year for bringing up grades and studying for the SATs. Do you have any questions?”

“Can I go now?”

“Um… I need you to sign off that you came to see me,” Mr. Lopez said handing him a slip of paper. Dan signed quickly and stood up to leave.

“Dan, is everything okay? You seem distracted.”

_My boyfriend is stuck in an institute of hell and it’s my fault. I haven’t seen him in eight months._

“I’m just tired,” Dan said. “I had a lot of studying to do last night.”

“Okay, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I know you’ve had a rough year.”

Dan nodded and opened the door to leave. Stepping into the hallway, a few people called out to him. Mrs. Reid was hanging an announcement on the board. When she saw him, she gave him a warm smile.

“Mr. Howell, will you be joining us in drama club this term?”

Dan shook his head. “No, not really feeling up to it.”

“But you have so much talent. I’d hate to see you waste it.”

“Thanks but…”

“Okay, sweetheart.”

Dan was incredibly glad she decided to drop the subject. With Mrs. Reid, Gio, and his family all begging him to become active in school again, Dan was ready to scream that he just wanted time to himself to think. He’d spent most of the summer moping around the house. Matt graduate that June and went to college in the middle of the summer because of some special program he’d been accepted into. The twins were being themselves which caused Dan to shut them out completely. He remembered being like them, carefree and bothersome teenagers.

His mother suggest he go to therapy considering he’d been the victim of sexual assault, witnessed an attempted suicide, and lost someone very special to him without ever getting help. Dan accepted. He figured talking to someone who knew nothing about him might be more fruitful. While his parents had his best interest, they wanted him to move on, grow up, and find happiness. Dan wasn’t ready.

And Gio, who loved Dan like a brother, couldn’t do much because she too was only sixteen and her own parents ignored her and was responsible for raising herself the best she could. He couldn’t ask her for any more than she was already giving him. The same went for Ethan who never took anything seriously and Tasha, the girl with the highest GPA and high anxiety. Everyone had seemed to grow up so much in the past year and nothing seemed easy anymore or straight forward. Dan still couldn’t figure out what caused his world to go off tilt, off its original balance.

—

“Someone’s on the phone for you, Dan,” Claire said, holding up the receiver. She crossed the room and handed him the cordless phone.

“Hello, this is Dan.”

“It’s me, Phil. How are you?”

“Phil? Forget how I am. How are you? Are you okay?” Everyone else in the room froze, listening in. They were all worried about Phil having known the story between his family and their disapproval of his sexuality.

“Yeah. I’m alright. I’m supposed to be calling my mom but I had to find out if you were okay.”

The line was interrupted by some static but Dan didn’t care. “I’m fine.”

“How is everyone? Gio and Ethan? Your family?”

“They’re good. How long can you talk?”

“Um… another five minutes.”

“That’s not enough. Phil, I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“Why didn’t you call sooner?”

“I was afraid they would know how I was calling and tell my dad.”

“How do you know they won’t know this time?”

“I’m using a payphone. Lots of the guys call their girlfriends on it. You won’t mind if I call you Danielle do you?” Phil laughed.

“No, I don’t mind.” Dan sniffled, feeling the heaviness in his chest fade away. Phil was okay. Phil still liked him.

“Are you crying?”

“No,” Dan pouted. “I have something in my eye.”

“That wouldn’t cause your voice to sound like that.”

“Shut up,” Dan laughed wetly. “Phil, why didn’t you come home last summer?”

“This program is all year round. Some people go home but Dad made me stay. I wanted to see you so badly.”

“I feel so bad because it’s my fault your there—“

“It’s not your fault. My Dad is a bigot. He’s the reason I’m here. Not you. Babe, don’t blame yourself.”

“But—,”

“No buts.” Phil said firmly. “I have to go soon. A dime only lasts so long on these things. I was wondering if we were still… you know… It’s been a long time.”

Dan laughed at his unfinished question and answered, “I love you, Phil.”

“I love you too. Bye.”

Dan heard the phone click to end the call. When he looked up, he saw the entire family was smiling.

“He’s okay,” Dan told them gladly. “He says he’s alright. He was afraid to call me before because he thought they would find out and tell his dad. He called me from a payphone.”

Amy got up to hug Dan who was so overwhelmed by the phone call. “I told you he was strong,” she whispered. Dan had to agree.

—

_Two Weeks Later_

Dan wasn’t sure what woke him. It might have been the sound of the rain pitter pattering on his window sill, or it might have been Matt’s snoring next door. The walls were thin, after all. His mother was standing at the foot of the bed when he finally managed to clear his vision enough to see in the middle of the night.

“Mom? What—,”

“Dan, get up. Someone’s here to see you,” she said softly, helping Dan lift the comforter off his body.

“What? Who’s here in the middle of the night?”

“Come on,” she said sleepily. Dan followed her out of his wonderfully warm bed and into the hallway, where the wood floors were absolutely freezing. He walked quickly, hoping that the movement would warm up the soles of his feet. It didn’t.

His mother led him into the living room. She cleared her throat, imploring all those present to pay her attention. Dan opened his sleepy eyes, which he had managed to keep relatively closed during the nighttime shuffle. Within moments, he was in the arms of their late night visitor. “Phil!”


	9. Eight

“How come my boyfriend can’t sleep over?”

“ _Rose_ ,” Robert warned.

“It’s because Dan and Phil can’t have babies, isn’t it?”

“Rose!” Robert said again raising his voice.

Claire giggled but didn’t say anything.

Robert placed a plate of scrambled eggs in front of his daughters, hoping the food would stifle their questions or at least distract them.

“If you must know, Phil and I didn’t do anything,” Dan said sitting down at the table with Phil, who was dressed in his clothes.

“Thank you for clearing that up,” Robert coughed, not being able to look at either of them. The girls erupted into a fit of giggles. They both had their straight brunette hair in messy buns that shook the more they laughed.

Amy called from the kitchen, “Do you boys want anything?”

Phil looked to Dan and nodded.

Dan said, “Yeah, Mom. Eggs and toast would be good.”

“What do you want, Phil?”

Phil cleared his throat and nervously answered, “The same, please.”

“Juice?” Claire offered.

“Yes, thanks.” Phil took the carton of organic orange juice carefully, causing everyone to stare at him.

“You okay?” Rose asked curiously.

“Uh… Yeah… I’m feeling a little anxious. I should be at school.”

“Why’d you leave?” she asked. At thirteen she still had the curiosity of a five-year old, complete with a lack of tact or sensitivity.

Phil cleared his throat and turned to Dan who was glaring at his sister. “I wanted to see Dan. I don’t really like it there either. There’s too many rules,” he joked uneasily.

“Let’s talk about something else,” Dan announced. “I think Matt’s coming home next weekend…”

—

Phil’s parents called them later that afternoon looking for their son. Being who they were, Dan’s parents couldn’t lie and told them Phil was with them. Phil’s father was at their front door within the hour.

“Where is he?” he asked as soon as the door opened.

“I assume you’re Phil’s father. I’m Robert Howell. It’s a pleasure to meet you. You are?”

“Paul Lester. Now, where is my son?”

“He’s right here. Come in,” Robert invited him in. Phil was standing with Dan right by his side when he saw his dad.

“You’re in a lot of trouble,” the man said pointing to Phil.

“Dad, I’m sorry.”

“Oh you will be. Get your things. We’re leaving.” Paul grimaced at the sight of his son holding the other boy’s hand. He turned away, facing Robert once more. Phil still hadn’t left his spot, frozen in fear.

“I don’t know what kind of house you’re running here but it’s a far cry from anything I would ever subject my son to.”

“None of _my_ children have run away,” Robert responded casually. “In fact, we have to convince them to attend colleges more than an hour away to get a better quality education—you know. We’ve built a safe haven for them. They feel safe here. Do you understand what I’m getting at?”

“Don’t talk me like that!” Robert grew louder. “You have some little faggot living in your house and you want to lecture me about raising children. My son won’t be like that.”

“Our sons love each other.”

“My son is not one of _them_.”

“I am!” Phil suddenly spoke. “You’re trying to hide it and change it but I have always been gay, Dad. I always will be.”

“Philip, get your things right now!”

“No, I’m not going. They’ll let me say.”

Robert nodded smiling at the sight of Phil finally sticking up for himself. “He can. As long as he needs to, we have room for him.”

“I am your father!”

“And you don’t love me.”

“Not if you don’t stop this crap right now!”

“I’m sixteen. I don’t have to live with you anymore. I checked. I have one year left of school and I’ll do just fine without you. The Howells have shown me more love in the two years that I’ve known them than you have my entire life.” Phil’s eyes were streaming tears by this point. Dan was squeezing his hand to remind him that he was still there for him. “I’m not going back, dad.”

“If you don’t come with me right now, you will not be welcome back home. Your mother will not have a son and Mary Faith won’t have a brother.”

“You can’t control them. Mary Faith is going to grow up. What are you going to do if she doesn’t like boys? Throw her out too? It doesn’t matter. I’ll be there for her.”

“You stay away from her, do you understand? I don’t want her catching it.”

“You’re so deluded,” Robert exclaimed. “How can you say these things to your own child, the very same child God gave you? I wonder how he feels about you criticizing one of his divine creations.”

Red-faced and clearly outnumbered Paul glared at Phil once more before turning and stepping out of the house. He pulled away from the drive way at a dangerous speed then drove off with a loud screech.

“You were amazing,” Dan whispered in awe. Phil’s face crumpled and Dan took him in his arms. “Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. Phil, don’t cry.”

—

_1 year and 3 months later_

“I feel tired,” Phil said, starting the family ritual.

“Why?”

“I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“That’s probably because he’s been spending the night in Da–,”

“Rosie, love bug, why don’t you go next?” Amy said, defusing the situation. Dan and Phil both shared a look as a blush painted both their faces red.

When everyone was done eating and started clearing the table, Amy remarked, “I’m sure we’ll stay in our own rooms tonight.”

“Yes, Mom,” Dan giggled, pulling his boyfriend down the hall. Once in Dan’s room, Phil found a comfortable spot and Lucy, his favorite of the two dogs, climbed right into his lap.

“Lucy, he’s mine,” Dan warned playfully.

“You can share me,” Phil said, rubbing Lucy’s lovely black coat.

“As if,” Dan laughed.

“Did Gio text you back yet?”

“Her parents are lending us their limo free of charge.”

“Sweet,” Phil smiled. “So, prom…”

“Yeah, prom.”

“Prom night…”

“Phil, we’ve been—you know—for months now. There’s really nothing special about prom night like that.”

“Let’s make it special.”

Dan kneeled onto the bed, hovering over Phil. “How?”

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking you.”

“Maybe stay the night somewhere.”

“Like a hotel?”

“Yeah,” Dan murmured into Phil’s ear as he leaned in closer, all while urging Lucy to get up with his hand. She did so easily. “We wouldn’t have to be so quiet.”

“Yeah…” Phil said dreamily then cleared his throat. “Dan?”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s stop. I don’t want your parents getting mad at us.” Phil saw up on the bed properly, skillfully hiding his arousal with the blanket.

“What are you talking about? It wouldn’t be the first time,” Dan reasoned. Their first time was about a week after Phil came to live with them. Matt had been home from college that weekend so Phil slept with Dan (literally). Dan figured his parents were okay with knowing they were sexually active because in his mind, what teenager, living with their romantic interest fulltime, doesn’t engage in that kind of thing? The answer was that no teenager could resist it. It was easier for them as well because unwanted pregnancy was impossible and they were well and truly in love. Dan had cried afterward but that was because he remembered what had happened with Theo and became overwhelmed by the gravity of the situation. He was glad Phil was his first. The memory could be a happy one. It was.

“You heard your mom. She said I should stay in my own room tonight.”

“She was just being a mom.”

“Still.”

“Are you going to tell me the real reason?”

“That is the real reason. Dan, I’m not their son. I can’t break the rules and expect them to hand me breakfast the next morning and love me like nothing ever happened.” Now, Phil was truly upset. He hated it when people didn’t take him seriously and it was something Dan did every so often that really bothered him. All hopes of doing anything sexual vanished.

“You’re like family though.”

“What if we break up?”

Dan stood up off the bed and paced the floor, thinking aloud. “If we break up, you won’t have anywhere to go. If we break up, you’d lose everything.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Dan said. “I mean, it’s true that if we can’t stay together that you most likely wouldn’t live here anymore.”

“Right.”

“But, you forget something.”

“What?”

“My parents love and respect you. Even if I hated you with every part of me, they wouldn’t abandon you, Phil. You’ve been a part of this family for a year. How could you think that?”

“My parents gave up on me…”

Dan nodded. “You’re right and I get it. But I like to think that you’re adopted but without the incestuous undertones.” Phil laughed. “My parents chose you, knowing your problems. It’s like when you’re adopted, you’re chosen. When you’re just born into a family, it’s a lottery.”

“You won big time.”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” Dan smiled thoughtfully. “But so did you. This family won’t abandon you. We’re not the type. Even the pets like you.”

Phil took a deep breath and reached out for Dan’s hands. He pulled Dan closer until he could reach up and meet their lips. “I still hope we don’t break up though.”

Dan giggled. “Me too. The sex is really good.”


	10. Nine

_Ten and Half Years Later_

“Do you think she’ll be able to come?”

Dan went on fixing Phil’s bowtie as he replied, “She’s an adult. She should be able to make her own decisions about you.”

“It’s just they’ve been telling her how bad I am probably. She was so little when I left.”

“Mary Faith probably remembers the good things about you,” Dan said confidently. “Alright, husband-to-be, are you ready?”

“No,” Phil answered playfully.

“Shut up and marry me.”

Phil and Dan were finished getting ready in the lavish dressing room at the Montgomery Hotel, the most expensive venue in the county. They hadn’t planned to make their wedding into a large affair but before they knew it, the guest list was three pages long. It seemed like Dan’s parents had invited all of Camden Beach, which was possible with the Howells being such a well-known family.

Their colors were silver and blue. Matt’s daughter, Ayu, donned a light blue flower girl dress which the four year old proudly proclaimed made her look like an angel. Matt met her mother, Liani, during a study abroad trip to Indonesia. He had been there for three months during the summer teaching English and Liani was his interpreter. A month after Matt finished his first year teaching in the states, he found himself on a plane to South East Asia, ring in pocket.

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful. Matt and Claire, and Ethan and Rose, started the procession. Tasha played violin as they marched, hand-in-hand down the aisle. When they sent her the invitation, she practically blew their ear drums over the phone with the screaming. Now, only lyrical tones floated from her bow and fingers.

Robert was in tears by the time Dan and Phil got around to the vows. When the celebrant finally said, “I now pronounce you husbands,” the two of them kissed for the first time as a married couple.

The road to matrimony had not easy. Although they went to college together, they had not stayed together. Dan still had a lot of growing up to do and Phil was still very angry deep down. By junior year, they had reconciled over a pile of tissues and a bottle of NyQuil. Dan got the flu and Phil, being who he was, took care of him after Gio called and told him they were being stupid. So even after a bleak two year separation, they still made it.

Dan and Phil had already cut their cake and had their first dance when a young woman, with long black hair and pale skin, entered the hall with another woman with short curled blonde hair. They were outfitted for the occasion in a formal dresses. When Amy had pointed them out and noted how they looked lost, Phil looked up to see to whom she was referring. He gasped.

“Phil?” Dan asked curiously. “Who is she?”

“She’s so grown up,” Phil whispered too himself. “Mary Faith.” With that he stood up from the front table and quickly crossed the dance floor. Dan was on his heels.

She saw him approaching and smiled shyly. “Phil.”

“Mary Faith, I’m so happy to see you. I wasn’t sure if you were going to come.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“You look so… You’re gorgeous, just like how I imagined.”

She blushed and opened her arms for an embrace, which Phil quickly reciprocated. They hugged for a few long seconds, making up for lost time. Phil was tearing up at the sight of his baby sister after so many years of not being allowed to see her. Their father made them move to a larger city farther from the base just so Phil wouldn’t run into them at the grocery store or at the fourth of July picnic. It was good to see her again.

“Let me introduce you to Dan, my husband. First time I’ve said that,” Phil laughed tearfully.

Dan opened his arms to hug her as well. “Looks like I have another sister.”

“I’m so glad to finally meet the guy Phil was so head-over-heels for. We knew he was in love, we just didn’t know with whom!” Mary Faith pulled back from the hug to face them both. “I’d like to introduce you to…” She took the other woman, who was standing by weeping at the happy reunion, by the hand. “Erin, my girlfriend.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you both. Congratulations,” Erin said shaking their hands. Dan and Phil both coughed back the surprise.

“I know what you’re thinking, Phil,” Mary Faith said solemnly. “Daddy doesn’t talk to me anymore. I still live at home but he ignores me. Mom’s not doing too well so he’s letting me stay to keep her happy.”

“What’s wrong with Mom?” Phil asked, suddenly alarmed.

“It’s not that serious. She’s just getting weak, you know?”

Phil nodded. “We’ll talk later on.”

—

“I can’t believe it!” Phil exclaimed. “She’s—and I—what?”

“Your sister has a girlfriend and she brings her to your gay wedding. Honestly, I’m wasn’t expecting this reaction.”

“I’m not upset. I’m… surprised. What is the chance that a homophobe’s children are 100 percent homosexual? Is that not poetic justice?”

“I guess you could call it that,” Dan replied. “Holy—is that who I think it is?”

A stunning woman in a tight-fitted purple dressed entered the ballroom. She wore 3-inch heels and carried a purse that was definitely worth more than some people’s mortgages. Her makeup was impeccable and her hair styled in elegant waves that framed her face beautifully.

“Gio!” Dan exclaimed, getting up to meet her.

“Dan! Phil! You guys are married,” she squealed reaching out to pull them into a group hug.

“I thought you couldn’t make it,” Dan said, kissing her cheek.

“Yeah, weren’t you in Milan or Rome or something?” Phil added.

“In Paris, darling,” she laughed. “I couldn’t miss this. Not after all the effort I put in to making sure you too stayed together. No shoot was worth it.”

“Is Guillermo here too? We’d like to meet him.”

“Guillermo is no more,” she sighed.

“I thought you were in love,” Dan pouted. He hated hearing about her failed relationships. Of course, he believed she wasn’t setting the bar high enough. “You said he was the love of your life.”

“But so was Damien and Tyler and Erik and the list goes on and on.”

“Oh forget them,” Phil told her. “You’ll find someone one day.”

“I wish I could be as lucky as Dan. You just showed up one day and look at the two of you.”

The newlyweds smiled at each other, both feeling equally lucky to have found each other at such a young age, to be able to live out their lives with the person they loved most in the world.

“Gio, I want to introduce you to someone.”

“It’s not a man, is it?”

“No, better!”

Gio went along with him, letting Phil guide her through the guests. Phil tapped Mary Faith on her shoulder to get her attention. Upon turning around her facial expression widened in surprise.

“Are you Giovanna d’ Lorenzo, the supermodel?”

“That’s me. I’m not so sure about supermodel part,” Gio shrugged casually.

“You’re on the front cover of every magazine! You were in the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Phil, how do you know her?”

Phil laughed at Mary Faith’s reaction. “Do you remember the girl I went to high school with? The one Mom and Dad thought I was dating?” She nodded. “This is her.”

“I remember now,” Mary Faith said, still in awe of Gio’s presence. “I thought you were my brother’s girlfriend for the longest time.”

“This is your sister? The precious little girl with the ribbons in her hair?”

“Yup,” Phil answered.

Gio leaned down to hug Mary Faith as best she could. “Oh my goodness. And who is this behind you?”

Mary Faith straightened up slightly. “This is my girlfriend, Erin.”

Gio reached across to shake Erin’s hand, saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Erin, too, was in shock of the woman they were meeting. “Mary Faith has a crush on you,” Erin laughed.

“Shut up!” her girlfriend said, blushing profusely.

“I’m flattered,” Gio said smiling. “You know I had the biggest crush on Phil and I was so mad at Dan for taking him away from me.”

“No way,” Mary Faith giggled.

“Yes, but I soon realized they were meant for each other.”

All of sudden there was roar of silverware hitting the side of glass, a tradition which holds that the newlyweds must kiss whenever the guests request. Dan and Phil looked around hesitantly before turning towards each other to kiss for the crowd. After their guests cheered them on, the two of them returned to the head table with Gio.

And Dan looked into the ballroom to see all the people who had helped him to grow, nurtured him and taught him, played with him and laughed with him. Some even cried and fought with him. As he watched his brother dance with his daughter standing on his shoes and his own parents sharing a private moment, Dan saw what could be his future. He saw himself as a father. He saw himself happily growing old with Phil like his parents. In the end one thing was certain, he was not the boy he was at fifteen. He was still unfailingly loyal but he was also thoughtful, something he’d also yearned for. Dan liked to believe that was Phil’s doing; that it was Phil who taught him to think past the tip of his nose. Phil showed him that the world wasn’t always as calm or as welcoming as Camden Beach, USA. He knew that if he had never had those moments of sadness, that he wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good moments now. But even more so, Phil had showed him his heaven on earth. Dan swore he had a halo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halo is the longest fic I’ve written in about five or six months. With that said, I should note how hard it was for me to write anything in the past six months. In daily life, it has been very difficult to maintain a fluid conversation, write papers and essays for school, and simply remember facts about myself. As a result of these increased stressors, I decided that I would write something that didn’t have any rules. So, for example, I would not write an omegaverse because it required so many rules for biology and sociology. I also opted to make my very British characters, American. I’ve lived here for most of my life. It’s literally second nature to me so it was so freeing to write them as Americans.
> 
> About the fic itself, I liked writing nice parents. It’s so rare in AU phanfiction that parents are just plain nice and understanding of their children. I created a fictional town in which high school was actually fun, the students got along and people were not bullied for sexuality, race, money, or disabilities.
> 
> The main character, Dan, has issues like any real person does but his support system (his parents, his siblings, his friends and teachers) ALL help him get through it. This is the same for Phil with the exception of his parents.
> 
> I particularly enjoyed weaving in the lives of the supporting and background characters.
> 
> Gio - largely ignored by her very successful parents. She had everything material but never had their love. While Dan’s parents seem to know everything about him, Gio’s always seem distant and far away. Despite this, Gio was written as someone with a beautiful soul. She always saw the best in everyone. It gave me great joy to write a female character who was allowed to be beautiful, inside and out.
> 
> Ethan - Dan’s best guy friend growing up. He’s always there for everyone else but never takes anything seriously. He makes an excellent confidant and boyfriend, much like Dan. They are a reflection of each other.
> 
> Tasha - overworked, overstressed, dancing queen. As a black person, I really liked having an obvious POC in one of my stories. It’s going to be happening more often. Tasha’s home life is a stark contrast to Dan and Gio. Dan’s parents allow him to relax. Gio’s parents don’t care. Tasha’s parents care too much. Over the course of the story, she isn’t able to handle it as well as she used to. As the group got older, she began having panic and anxiety attacks. An even so, we see her persevere in the end. She goes to an Ivy League school, Ethan right behind her.
> 
> Matt - the perfect child. He truly is. Good grades. Popular. Respectful. I like that their parents do not have a favorite. Matt would clearly be it if they did.
> 
> Rose and Claire - fraternal twins. They’re two very different girls and are treated as such. While they certainly look like sisters, they behave very differently. Rose is Dan as a preteen. She’s sassy and quick to upset. Claire is balance. If Rose didn’t not have Claire, the family dynamic may have been different because she would have been the spoiled, over indulged baby of the family.
> 
> What a relief it was to write what I wanted to, without rules, without restraint!

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr  
> [danni-howell](https://danni-howell.tumblr.com/)


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